Straight Talks: 5 Secrets to Essential Communications for Managers

Straight Talks:

5 Secrets to Essential Communications for Managers

No matter what the purpose of a conversation or the roles in an organization, communication cannot occur if one or both people are operating from the ego. When people are coming from their own script based on their own past, they cloud the conversation. I would like to suggest 5 secrets for creating Straight Talks; steps for clearing the field and reducing the static so real communication can take place. To help remember these secrets—remember the acronym, TALKS.

Take down walls.

Communication is a two way street. To have a straight talk with employees or co-workers, you must first give up judgment, pre-conceived ideas and personal biases.  Start from a place of equality and respect, regardless of titles or positions on an organizational chart. Great leaders know they do not have to be superior or appear above those they lead. Humility and integrity are the hallmarks of true leadership while arrogance is the result of the ego.  Drama and politics block honest, straight communication. Understand that in today’s world of uncertainty, people often put up walls quickly if they don’t feel trust in leadership or the culture.

 Ask questions.

Since you cannot read someone else’s mind nor understand their point of view without input, start by asking questions. Even if you have a message you want to deliver, inquire about their feelings, ideas and thoughts. You are creating a safe space for a straight and clear conversation by demonstrating honor of the other.

Listen deeply.

Deep listening requires focus on the other person but, most of all; it calls for you to be authentic.  When you are operating from your own deepest self rather than the ego, you are calm, present, and able to listen without getting hooked in someone else’s story or drama. You can honor the other person’s authentic self when you are genuine, rather than validating the ego.

Key message.

When barriers are down and communication flowing with trust rather than anxiety, you can discuss your key topic or message. People who feel respected and valued will contribute from their highest potential. By reducing fear or judgment, you inspire others and help release their creativity. By creating an atmosphere of cooperation and common goals, you build teamwork and commitment.

Even if a discussion is a performance issue, building trust makes it easier for someone to receive the message. Refer to the role of the job (and the expectations) rather than his/her value as a human being.  When you respect the total person and acknowledge talents and abilities, you will be able to describe the “role” of this particular job without threatening a person’s identity. When you honor the spirit in others, you are able to convey the right message without the resistance of ego defenses.

 Summarize.

The final and essential goal is to summarize both sides of the conversation and find agreement—even if it is to agree to disagree with respect. It is always important that you both have a clear understanding of what was discussed and the outcome or conclusion. This could include actions to be taken by each person, agreement on the conclusion, a suggestion to discuss more at a later date, or even the signing of an acknowledgment, if this is a situation which requires documentation. Most importantly, avoid leaving the conversation until you both feel satisfied that you expressed yourself and you were both heard.

I believe, someday we will laugh out loud at the powerlessness of the ego.  We will recognize its grandiosity and its fears. We will learn to communicate with others on a truly authentic basis, validating and honoring others as the remarkable beings that they truly are. Today as we practice genuine communication on a daily basis with all the people with whom we interact we will, ultimately, shift the current culture of fear to one of trust and compassion.

Symptoms of a Dysfunctional Workplace

What is the culture of your workplace? Individuals who are in pain often reveal to me, the outside consultant, what they will not share with the leadership in the organization, even through anonymous surveys and exit interviews, for fear of reprisal. Repeatedly, I have heard men and women, managers and staff, individually describe to me the stress and suffering of working in their current environment.

It is not the job or work they dislike. In fact, most people enjoy work itself, and people inherently do want to do a good job. The problems are the politics, undercurrents of biases and power struggles, fear, insecurity, internal competition, and lack of trust in the environment. These are the symptoms and emotions of an unhealthy organization. Even if there are periods of calm, the emotions and reactions seem can arise and feed on each other at various times; leading to a general sense of unpredictability.

• Fear
• Blame
• One-upsmanship
• Lack of trus
• Cliques and power structures
• Turf protection
• Gossip
•  Insecurity
•  Lack of appreciation
• Power struggles
• Secretiveness
• Sabotaging
• Withholding information
• Hidden and personal agendas
• Intimidation
• Sucking up
•  Unpredictablity
•  Workaholism
•  Lack of open communication
• All kinds of discrimination (sexual preference, gender, race, religion, etc. economic,)

 A revolutionary new model of honor, respect, and unity—a replacement for the current internal competition—is the enlightened answer for the future growth of companies. Without a change in the strict structure that dominates most businesses, employees will not feel dedication, inspiration, or commitment, and the level of work will be mediocre.

 It is a time for enlightnened leadership in which we replace fear with trust and compassion. Businesses will prosper and people everywhere will be happier. Leaders who can be courageous enough to look at their own fears and weaknesses and become authentic will create environments of inspiration and cooperation which empowers those they lead.

Ending Ego-Driven Management

Moving away from the ego-driven, top-down management style is critical for companies to grow, to attract and retain competent employees, to increase employee engagement, to gain loyalty and respect, and to build cooperation and contribution.

What does it take for leaders to make this transformation?

A restoration to authenticity requires the courage and willingness of leaders to look with an unflinching eye at their own inadequacies and fears. It means looking within and seeing errors, misjudgments, and false claims of righteousness. Honest and deep reflection will allow strength of character, integrity, and true leadership to arise.

Becoming an enlightened business leader will require disengaging from the insane drama and creating an environment of harmony, trust, and compassion.

Because of ego-driven management, millions in the workplace feel as though they are in prison, with little freedom of expression or ability to perform and contribute at their highest level. Learning to face the ego and becoming an enlightened leader are meaningful and necessary goals.

Business leaders who begin to personally transform and become restored to their true selves will free employees to work creatively and productively within an environment that fosters their true potential.

As leaders give up the need for superiority, employees will lay down the defenses and complaints of the downtrodden. People will learn to give up blaming others for their circumstances and take back their own destinies. As leaders elevate their own understanding, they will be models for those they lead. Those they guide will find liberation and discover their own inner authority. People who are free will perform better. Ultimately, businesses will be more successful.

Is the Workplace Making You Fat?

Is the Workplace Making You Fat?

Emily went to work early, avoiding the traffic and giving herself some extra time to finish up the project from yesterday.  After arriving, she discovered she had some additional tasks to complete before a meeting in two hours. Her email box, not surprising anymore, had filled up again over night. Doesn’t anyone ever sleep? After several hours of working and attending a stressful meeting, she grabbed a maple bar in the break room. At lunch time she brought her lunch (a somewhat healthy meal) to her desk and finished working.  She ate some candy she had in her desk for an afternoon snack.  After  several interruptions and the critical comments her boss had made that day, she felt the familiar pit in her stomach coming from the anxiety of a complex workplace.

Finally, after a long and trying day, she went home.  She had been planning to start going to her aerobics class again but it was late, she was tired, and most of all, she felt anxious and exhausted. At home, she heated a pizza, poured some wine and began her evening of comfort food eating and snacking. She is not alone in this pattern of emotional eating.

With obesity a national problem and so many people struggling to reach a healthy weight, I am going to suggest that today’s fast-paced, overzealous workplace culture is adding to the problem. In addition to the sedentary environment of most offices, the stress occurring in today’s workplace is fueling the situation. Emotional eating of comfort foods and overeating are attempts to numb feelings–a coping strategy that is contributing to the overweight problem.

As an individual, how can you deal with the problem and reduce the chain reactions from the workplace stress? Recognizing the deep source of the anxiety is the first step, and learning to deal with the insecure feelings created at work can be the opening to a new program of healthy eating. Becoming more grounded in your authentic self and relieving any fearful thoughts created at work can be the foundation of a new, healthier life style. The following steps will help you deal with the real issues underlying food addictions and give you a new perspective on your workplace and your consequential eating patterns.

1. Stop comparing yourself to others in the workplace. Many of the doubts and anxiety occur because you find fault with yourself when you observe others. People may appear confident and some people use “one-up-manship” to elevate their own sense of importance. Don’t be beguiled into competing or trying to be something other than your authentic self.
2. Conduct an honest assessment of your best traits and then frequently remind yourself what you have to offer. Contribute from a sense of strength and enthusiasm, not out of a need to posture yourself or create some kind of image.  Everyone has talents and abilities to offer in the workplace and when you work sincerely, you will be honored and you will feel less anxiety.
3. Be willing to look at your weaknesses without shame.  Nobody can do everything and it is the fear of being exposed that we “don’t know something” that causes much of the pressure. Be willing to be wrong, to say “I’m sorry” and to not have all the answers. You will be respected for your honesty.
4. Find your own inner peace and contentment. Take time outs for a few minutes at least every hour of each day to stop and “be present”. Take your attention away from the workplace by looking out a window, walking around (or outside) to break the mental preoccupation.  Frequent mental breaks actually improve your clarity, elevate your energy and increase your abilities. When you return to your work, you will have a fresh perspective. Before and after work, take a 15 minute (at least) period of meditation. Studies demonstrate today that meditation actually extends your life and reduces stress.
5. Become aware of and start to give up the need for external validation and approval from others.  When you have an inner sense of your own worth, you will discover that you can enjoy things, compliments, and other “props” without feeling dependent on them. When you feel an inner sense of confidence, your anxiety lessens and you are not persuaded to be unkind to yourself (criticizing yourself, overeating and drinking, feeling sorry for yourself).
6. Get some physical movement whenever possible. Be conscious of walking, taking the stairs, even stretching or doing some physical isometrics when you have the opportunity. Every little bit helps. Take walks on your breaks or during your lunch and try not to eat at your desk.
7. Before you grab something unhealthy to eat or drink, stop and allow yourself to become fully present. If you are less anxious and having a greater sense of inner calm, you will be less likely to eat unconsciously. Slow down and really taste your food and enjoy what you are eating. If you find yourself taking the next bite before you swallowed, you will know you are not conscious and you are not present. It will take longer to feel satisfied. There is nothing shameful about eating and enjoying food but if you don’t savor what you eat, you will continue to eat to find emotional satisfaction.
8. Balance your life. Make “you” the priority and don’t sacrifice yourself and your happiness for a job. You can work better when you balance your time between your job and your own interests. It takes internal, authentic power to make choices that are good for you at work and to say no when requests are unreasonable. But is extremely important to honor “you” and find time to be good to yourself. If you acquiesce to everyone else’s needs at your own expense, the resulting feelings will cause you to sabotage healthy eating habits.

In summary, tips and advice for what to eat and how to exercise are abundant. In actuality, everyone knows what it takes to lose weight–it is doing it that is hard. All the programs in the world won’t work if you don’t deal with the core issues causing the behavior. It takes the inner motivation that originates from your authentic self to bring about true progress. When you feel your own internal worth and accompanying inner calm, you are less likely to feed yourself with negative thoughts and unhealthy food.  And when you do splurge, you will forgive yourself and start anew. Having compassion for yourself is a good place to start.
www.dannabeal.com

Your Authentic Voice

 

Standing up and stepping out of the muck of all the competing noise and chatter requires giving up some behaviors you have been using for years. Coming out of the hypnotic trance of the delusion in your workplace and the world takes committed effort. As you do, you will recognize your authentic inner voice as it instructs you to do the following: 

 

• Give up needing to prevail or triumph over another.

• Give up needing to be superior.

• Give up needing approval of others.

• Give up the familiar path and take “the road less traveled.”

• Give up being the victim.

• Give up roles and definitions of self and others.

• Give up trying to fix or change others.

• Give up blaming others.

• Give up “center stage.”

The joy you will experience when you take direction from your inner spirit cannot be compared to the shallow artificial happiness in the ego’s drama. You will find your genuine voice.

Stress in the Workplace

You are bound to have relationships which cause you stress or discomfort in the workplace. The greater the sense of anxiety created when dealing with the individual, the more powerful the opportunity to heal and rebuild the relationship. The workplace provides time and frequent interactions in which to learn and practice this new way of owning your authentic power and changing the relationship to a higher level. As you progress in this process, you will learn to notice even slightest moments of uneasiness and learn how to release them before they take hold of you. It will not be as easy to let go of painful responses and reactions in the intense conflicting relationships. But with time, you will come to know it works in all situations— from the most emotionally turbulent relationships to the slightly stressful ones. You will learn to uncover the causes for conflict in the relationships even if there is no communication or if they are deceased. The emotion you are holding is not really caused by the other, only by you. As you can feel the pain underlying the negative emotion and finally identify the origin which is some situation from childhood, you will come to fully realize the current individual is not the root of your anguish. The person is simply the mirror helping you remember the beginning of the thought system you formed as a child to protect yourself.

As you discover you are the only source of your workplace discomfort, you can become firmly rooted in your authentic power and choose freedom.

Compassion knows no boundaries. It arises out of the authentic recognition of the other as thyself. It is not limited by color, creed, gender, sexual preference or geography. Compassion for others can awaken the listening heart to self compassion.  When we truly see our oneness we will see the futility of destroying the perceived enemy because it is actually the destruction of ourselves. We are all interconnected. As you hurt another you hurt yourself. There is nothing outside yourself. Your view of the other is a projection stemming from your own disowned traits that you fear will lead to your annihilation. When we have the courage to recognize this projection we will see our own fears. Owning our own weaknesses, followed by acceptance and self forgiveness are the steps to personal freedom. When we can see that attacking or judging another is actually a strategy for redirecting our own self recriminations—we will see how these misguided intentions are the cause of pain and suffering.

As we feel compassion for others it can lead us to compassion for ourselves. When we allow the compassion for ourselves to flow freely we will feel a release beyond comprehension. Our pain is augmented by our constant criticism. Freedom is the result of self forgiveness, leading to a peace that passeth all understanding. Only you hold the key to your self imposed prison.

New Book: The Extraordinary Workplace

“People need autonomy over task (what they do), time (when they do it), team (who they do it with), and technique (how they do it). Companies that offer autonomy, sometimes in radical doses, are outperforming their competitors.”

-Daniel Pink, author of “Drive:  The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us”

The Extraordinary Workplace:  Replacing Fear with Trust and Compassion   
Creating a workplace where people have freedom of choice leads to not only happier employees, but increased productivity, creativity and profitability. In my new book, The Extraordinary Workplace, which will be released in October of 2010, I share the secrets to rebuilding relationships in the workplace so that people can be restored to their true identities, their inner spiritual greatness. To learn more visit www.theextraordinaryworkplace.com.  Pre-orders include free shipping!

 

 I would like to share my newest inspirational video that can remind us why reliance on Universal Love rather than the ego leads to success, joy and inner peace.  Since it is on YouTube, you can watch and listen during a break to bring yourself to a calm and peaceful state at times in the workplace when it is stressful and demanding.  We are more creative and we accomplish more when we are operating from an internal calmness and authenticity.

Click this link below: Universal Love:  The Power that Sustains All Life
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3vb1rseCSk

In Addition:

If you would like a free audio MP3 article ”Is Rivalry Preventing Teamwork in Your Organization?”or the recording of the previous teleconference, click on this link: www.dannabeal.com
 

AUTHOR DANNA BEAL, M.Ed., business consultant and international speaker has been conducting her groundbreaking workshop series, “Healing the Workplace Culture”, and keynotes on, “Enlightened Leadership: Restoring Trust and Compassion” for over 300 businesses and organizations throughout the United States and Canada. She has been on over 60 radio and TV talk shows discussing her new model for enlightened leadership and cooperative workplaces. Her new book, “The Extraordinary Workplace: Replacing Fear with Trust and Compassion”, will be released this fall.

Reliance on Universal Love-The Key to Freedom

When we rely on the ego we are always trying to manipulate the world from a personality level which holds no real power. When we connect with our authentic power, stemming from the power that sustains all life, Universal Love, we can move mountains. I invite you to watch this video and be reminded of your true Source.

Click below.

http://dannabeal.com/Universal%20Love%20Video.html

The Ego Is Always Running for Cover

The ego in the workplace tries to expel pain by projecting it on to others or suppressing and denying the emotion. But where is the pain really coming from? Pain is the result of unhealed wounds being reactivated in the present.

The ego is always running for cover, distracting itself from looking within, and avoiding feeling pain. However, it is the resistance that is causing the pain. Allowing yourself to face the center of the pain lodged in the heart will bring the release and relief you desire. Running from the pain is the whole cause of the ego insanity in the first place. Feeling it and forgiving yourself for all your self-deprecating descriptions will bring you freedom—your emancipation from the jail sentence you have given yourself. This is true exoneration and absolution. The Divine has already given it to you; it’s up to you to do the rest.